Edinson Cavani could be wearing a different shade of sky blue soon. Photograph: STRINGER/ITALY/Reuters
Well, it's started again, and this time November's not even finished. Yes, Chelsea are looking to get rid of their manager. Bye, André Villas-Boas! Bye! By all accounts the 34-year-old reigning Portuguese and Europa League champion isn't good enough for the reigning champions of nothing, and will be replaced soon enough with Guus Hiddink. A "dressing room insider" has spoken of concerns over AVB's tactical approach and decision-making abilities, but not, strangely, the fact that it's time for John Terry, Frank Lampard, Petr Cech and Ashley Cole to hop on the back of the Boxer From Animal Farm Memorial Bus. Why has the dressing room insider not mentioned that?Fellow pot-of-glue-in-the-making David Beckham has been offered £11.6m to join Paris Saint Germain.In news regarding the less superannuated, Eden Hazard has been given permission to move to suitors Arsenal or Chelsea. Only stumbling block is the £43m price tag Lille have whacked on his head, so he'll no doubt be ending up at Manchester City instead.Poor homesick Carlos Tevez will be joining Buenos Aires outfit AC Milan in January. In fairness, before you go accusing him of trading in obfuscation or flat-out falsehoods, there's a better view of Argentina down there from atop that pile of cash.Bolton Wanderers boss Owen Coyle has had enough of the interminable Gary Cahill rumours. "It's probably better sooner rather than later," he has sighed, urging Arsenal, Chelsea or Tottenham Hotspur to snap one out or get off the pot. Thank God for that. Now if Coyle can just chivvy along David Beckham, Eden Hazard and Carlos Tevez, we can clear the decks and launch All New Rumour Mill(TM)next week. We've got it all planned. It's going to be great, full to the brim with new lies, which we'll repeat with grinding regularity every day until they quickly get old. Starts next week!Here's a sneak preview of something that's going to get gin-temptingly boring twice as quickly. In the most predictable event since the sun rose this morning and the sky stopped being so dark at exactly the same time,Manchester City are interested in Napoli flavour of the month Edinson Cavani.Vitesse Arnhem's Cote d'Ivoire striker Wilfried Bony is a target for Udinese, Villarreal and, let's face it, it's why the Rumour Mill with its myopic attitudes is mentioning it, Fulham.Wigan Athletic and Blackburn Rovers are both after Curtis Davies of Birmingham.Well you try thinking of anything to say about Wigan, Blackburn, or Curtis Davies. They're the ones being paid all the money, it shouldn't be up to us to make them sound windswept and interesting.QPR will sell Adel Taarabt to either Paris Saint Germain or Napoli in January for £20m. They will spend the money on Fulham striker Andy Johnson, and Tottenham duo Jermain Defoe and Sebastien Bassong. Sounds like decent business to us. When, do you think, will Neil Warnock get the credit for being one of the best managers of the last 20 years? The fifth of never, is our guess, or when the Cahill transfer is completed, whichever comes first.And finally, Liverpool and Tottenham are both planning to make bids for 17-year-old Crewe striker Max Clayton and 15-year-old Wycombe Wanderers forward Jordan Ibe. So much youthful hope and promise, and yet it is inevitable that, like Becks and JT, they too one day will be carted off to the Solvite factory. Ah, the relentless march of time. Still, without it, the weekend would never arrive, eh.
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